Journaling our years challenging journey was so freeing to me. No more hiding what is really going on in the Dandurand Family's lives! It is so freeing when you can walk in truth! We do anticipate what God is going to do in our lives and through us! Use me, Jesus, Use me. Take this life of mine and use me! That is how i want to live my life...for the Lord alone!
Today, our family is going to inter-city Denver to serve a Thanksgiving dinner to about 300 people who are going through a really hard time. These people only make an income of $7000/year. It will be such a humbling experience for our family! We have face a very hard year as well, but if there is one thing that I could teach our children, it would be to always have a thankful heart, no matter what the circumstance! I have tried to keep a thankful heart and I have tried to find the joys of each new day! I am so thankful for this opportunity to serve God's children through a meal. My prayer is that our family will touch the hearts and lives of someone today for God's glory and honor! Use us Lord for your will today! May we come away from this event, changed to be more like you!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
A Year of Walking by Faith
This has been such a challenging year for our family! We moved to Colorado the end of December (the 22nd) from the house we loved, people we will cherish forever, a church that was absolutely AMAZING, a good job, etc. The past 12 years of our lives and the home to most of the kids childhood memories are there. Things were going good in Colorado, we were feeling pretty good about he move and what God had planned for our lives, until March 21! Brad felt a little weird heart stuff going on...slow pulse, skipping heart beats, the feeling like he was being choked. Little did we know that this would be the start of two heart surgeries and the close death of my husband. After going to urgent care to get an EKG, 10 minutes later he was in an ambulance on the way to Sky Ridge Hospital. After a day of tests and anxiety, they admitted him into the cardiac unit. He was stabilized, but still experiencing those same symptoms. They ruled out arterial blockage and his labs came back normal. He has always been a question when it comes to anything medically with him. We always tell the doctors that you have to think out of the box with Brad as your patient. After he was comfortable and settled in the hospital, I left that evening to go back home to the kids, who were at home this whole time with our neighbors, waiting to hear. I planned on taking the kids to see Brad the next day (Saturday). That night I prayed like never before. I felt God's complete peace embracing me through the night, until I got a call from Brad at 3:45 a.m. to tell me that he "crashed". I immediately felt panic, blood leaving my body, and sick to my stomach feeling! I just left him a few hours ago, how could he have gotten worse? He told me that crash meant he passed out, not had to have the paddles bring him back. That relieved me a tiny bit. He told me that he was in the bathroom and he felt light headed and started to pass out when his nurse came in and picked him up. His nurse, Steve, hit the stat button and 10 nurses came running into Brad's room! They put him back in bed, took his vitals, got him stabilized before transferring him down to ICU. He told me that his pulse got down to only 20 beats per minute. They put him on a Dopemine drip for the night, having a nurse check on him every 15 minutes.
On Sunday morning, I brought the kids in to see Brad. He completely broke down when I placed Peighton by him in his bed. The Cardiologist wanted to run a angiogram, since the team was there. They did the angiogram and decided to put a temporary pacemaker in his femoral artery to help him get through the day and night until they could put a permanent one in on Monday. The doctors found that Brad's electrical system was completely shut down and his outer heart lining was very weak. They determined that it was due to a virus that he contracted and it went right for his heart. As we look back, Brad thinks it might have been from when we had our pool built in Maricopa. He felt great, physically, before then, but then got weaker after that point. It didn't help that there is a family history on his dad's side with heart related issues.
The kids and I stayed most of the day with Brad on Sunday. We left early evening feeling confident that he would have a better night since he had the pacemaker in his leg and he was being monitored around the clock. What he didn't know at the time, was his parents and brother, Dick, were on there way to our house from Minnesota. My dad also flew out to be with the kids while I was at the hospital. It was a complete blessing knowing that I had family that were coming to surround us with their love during this extremely hard time! My dad arrived and I was so thankful that he was with me and here for the kids. Doug, Betty, and Dick arrived at 1:00 a.m. On Sunday, the big day, Doug , Betty, Dick,and I went to the hospital. I walked in Brad's room and told him that I found a few people who wanted to say Hi! In walked his family and Brad was so amazingly surprised and thankful that they were there! On the way to the hospital, Brad called his dad on his cell phone and talking to him about things, not knowing that he would be seeing his dad face to face 15 minutes after that conversation. Brad's spirit was good, God continued to fill us with His complete peace. The surgery went really well! God provided the two best Cardiologist for Brad. Dr. Sundaram is one of the best in the U.S. for pacemaker surgery. Dr. MacDonald initially saw Brad in the emergency room, cardiac unit, and ICU, and will be his regular Cardiologist.
The whole day I was so calm and at peace, God gave me complete comfort that Brad was going to be okay and with us for quite some time! I was rest assured in that hope! It was so great seeing his vitals increase by such a far margin. Before the surgery his heart monitor would go off quite a bit because his vitals would be fluctuating so much. I was so grateful to see them at a steady pace. We brought the kids to the hospital in the early evening to see daddy. Brad's color and energy level were back. He looked so much healthier than earlier that morning. He was so happy to see the kids. During this whole time, the kids really remained quite calm, even Peighton. She would sit in bed with Brad and not touch all the wires that were hooked up to him. She would sit there ever so still and just look at him with complete love! Preston and Paxton never let on any type of fear at all! I was so proud of my kids, again God knew what I needed! After we left Brad that night and got home, had dinner, talked for a while and went to bed, that is when a rush of emotion just filled every part of my body! I broke down with absolute joy and thanksgiving that God had a plan for Brad's life still here on earth and that He didn't take him home yet to be with Him! I couldn't wait to bring him home tomorrow!
Doug, Betty, Dick and I went to the hospital to see how Brad was doing not expecting to bring him home until afternoon/evening. There he was all packed up, dressed, and sitting in the chair waiting for us to take him home! It was so good having him back home with us! It was unreal to us the events that took place the last few days. It was a reminder that life is short, live each day to the fullest, because you never know what can happen! Brad's parents stayed a few more days, but headed back to Minnesota on Thursday before a storm that was heading our way. Dad flew out on Saturday. It was hard to see them go, but Brad needed rest to start his healing process. He went back to work on Monday feeling really good. He was weak and had low stamina, but overall, he was doing good!
Through the spring he was feeling okay, not 100%. During the months of June and July he started to get really tired and winded. It got to the point where he would walk up 15 steps and he would have to lay down for a half an hour. We knew something wasn't right. After consulting his Cardiologists, they found another problems with his heart. The heart wasn't communicating properly so when one side of the heart would pump, the other side wouldn't, causing his blood to not be pumped out of the heart properly. His infraction was only at 30% where a normal person is at about 70%. His doctors said that if they couldn't get that stabilized and it got in the 20% range, he would be a candidate for a heart transplant! After much pray, I had a complete peace from God that that would not happen. After an echocardiogram and other testing his doctors agreed that he would need to have another surgery. They would take out the current pacemaker and replace it with a bi-ventricular pacemaker with defibrillator. Brad's current pacemaker had two leads leading to the upper and lower chambers of the heart. What he needed was a third lead that would run to the side of the heart that wasn't doing its job to pump the blood out of the heart. Again, I was completely at peace with everything, knowing full well that Brad was going to be good, better than before! So, on August 13, Brad was set to have another procedure in the Catheterization lab to remove the old and put in the new. His parents came out to be with us as well as my dad. My dad stayed with the kids again and Doug, Betty, and I were at the hospital with Brad. This procedure would be a little more complicated than the first. They also had to put Brad's heart in an abnormal rhythm to make sure the the pacer/defibrillator would shock his heart if it did go in an abnormal rhythm. That was a little scary thinking about that! There was a 4% chance that his heart wouldn't come out of that rhythm! After 2 1/2 hours, Brad was great! Dr. Sundaram said that things couldn't have gone any better. They got that third lead in a great position and his heart should get stronger and Brad should feel so much better. Going into the surgery Dr. Sundaram said that there was a 1/3 chance that Brad would feel 100% better after the surgery; a third chance that he would feel a little better (instead of climbing only one flight of stairs and getting winded, he could go up 2-3 flights before that happenend); or a third chance that he would feel the same and when he went into surgery. With the grace of God, Brad came out feeling 100% better! After he got up to his room in the cardiac unit, he was talking and laughing and back to his old self! He was giving his nurse a hard time and just feeling amazing! Thank you, Jesus! Again, our parents left, and Brad went back to work and things were going really great! This went on for a few months before our next test of faith would begin!
By the middle of August we decided that we needed to get out of the Larkspur house because were were paying $2500/month to live there plus we were paying our mortgage on the Maricopa house. Money was getting tight paying on those, plus regular bills, and now medical bills. Not to mention that if something were to go wrong with Brad's heart, we were at least 1/2 hour a way from a hospital and 20 minutes from an urgent care. We were able to get out of our lease in Larkspur and in September, moved into Castle Rock. It was such a blessing to be close to the boys school, Peighton and I's preschool, and closer to Denver for Brad's work. Things at work were pretty stressful for Brad. Aaron would be going off like a time bomb one minute and then be all fine the next. Aaron's dad during this whole process, wasn't supportive and thought Brad was completely overpaid. There was empty promise given after empty promise. Overall, the business was doing okay. They had sold and produced almost a million in sales. Apparently that wasn't good enough for the Avery's. On October 2, Brad went to work and all hell pretty much broke loose! Needless to say, without going into all those details, Brad came home without his job, company vehicle, and salary! How could this happen? Seriously, after two heart surgeries, having to short sale our house in Maricopa, uprooting our family from their home, friends, church, etc. to have the plug pulled! We were mortified! At least we knew that Brad would have no problem finding another job, he had never been unemployed before, and he was a go getter with so much to offer, that finding a job would be a walk in the park! WOW! Were we set in out place shortly after putting out trust in that thought!
It is going on week 7 of unemployment for Brad! He has sent out so many resumes, at least 10 a day for the past 7 WEEKS! No quality hits, unless you are an insurance company...NO THANK YOU! It has been a tough year for our family! It has been a complete lesson of faith and trust in the Lord! We have learned so many life lessons from the course of the year. The first and foremost lesson learned is to have complete faith and trust in God to provide, lead, and guide us in His plan and purpose for our lives, not our own! Financially things are seriously tough! We had to let our families know that we are unable to come home for Christmas, which was such a downer for our whole family, kids especially. Through God's grace and mercy, we are doing good! We have so much to be thankful for...Brad's health, each other, food for the table, our humbled hearts, etc. Through these extremely tough times, we look to God as our Provider, Savior, and Best Friend! We lean on His Word, Prayer, Serving, and Church! He has a plan for this family, and we anticipate how He will use each of us for His glory and Honor! Stay tuned as the saga of this life will continue, God will prevail!
Lord God,
I thank you for the events of this year, because I know that you have a plan for our lives! I thank you for Brad's health, our family unit, the provisions you provide. We lay it all at your feet, Oh God. We know that you will provide the perfect job for Brad, it is all in your timing. We walk by faith in you and will obey your calling on our lives. We anticipate what you have for us! Until that time, we put our complete faith and trust in you!
In Your Precious Name,
Amen
On Sunday morning, I brought the kids in to see Brad. He completely broke down when I placed Peighton by him in his bed. The Cardiologist wanted to run a angiogram, since the team was there. They did the angiogram and decided to put a temporary pacemaker in his femoral artery to help him get through the day and night until they could put a permanent one in on Monday. The doctors found that Brad's electrical system was completely shut down and his outer heart lining was very weak. They determined that it was due to a virus that he contracted and it went right for his heart. As we look back, Brad thinks it might have been from when we had our pool built in Maricopa. He felt great, physically, before then, but then got weaker after that point. It didn't help that there is a family history on his dad's side with heart related issues.
The kids and I stayed most of the day with Brad on Sunday. We left early evening feeling confident that he would have a better night since he had the pacemaker in his leg and he was being monitored around the clock. What he didn't know at the time, was his parents and brother, Dick, were on there way to our house from Minnesota. My dad also flew out to be with the kids while I was at the hospital. It was a complete blessing knowing that I had family that were coming to surround us with their love during this extremely hard time! My dad arrived and I was so thankful that he was with me and here for the kids. Doug, Betty, and Dick arrived at 1:00 a.m. On Sunday, the big day, Doug , Betty, Dick,and I went to the hospital. I walked in Brad's room and told him that I found a few people who wanted to say Hi! In walked his family and Brad was so amazingly surprised and thankful that they were there! On the way to the hospital, Brad called his dad on his cell phone and talking to him about things, not knowing that he would be seeing his dad face to face 15 minutes after that conversation. Brad's spirit was good, God continued to fill us with His complete peace. The surgery went really well! God provided the two best Cardiologist for Brad. Dr. Sundaram is one of the best in the U.S. for pacemaker surgery. Dr. MacDonald initially saw Brad in the emergency room, cardiac unit, and ICU, and will be his regular Cardiologist.
The whole day I was so calm and at peace, God gave me complete comfort that Brad was going to be okay and with us for quite some time! I was rest assured in that hope! It was so great seeing his vitals increase by such a far margin. Before the surgery his heart monitor would go off quite a bit because his vitals would be fluctuating so much. I was so grateful to see them at a steady pace. We brought the kids to the hospital in the early evening to see daddy. Brad's color and energy level were back. He looked so much healthier than earlier that morning. He was so happy to see the kids. During this whole time, the kids really remained quite calm, even Peighton. She would sit in bed with Brad and not touch all the wires that were hooked up to him. She would sit there ever so still and just look at him with complete love! Preston and Paxton never let on any type of fear at all! I was so proud of my kids, again God knew what I needed! After we left Brad that night and got home, had dinner, talked for a while and went to bed, that is when a rush of emotion just filled every part of my body! I broke down with absolute joy and thanksgiving that God had a plan for Brad's life still here on earth and that He didn't take him home yet to be with Him! I couldn't wait to bring him home tomorrow!
Doug, Betty, Dick and I went to the hospital to see how Brad was doing not expecting to bring him home until afternoon/evening. There he was all packed up, dressed, and sitting in the chair waiting for us to take him home! It was so good having him back home with us! It was unreal to us the events that took place the last few days. It was a reminder that life is short, live each day to the fullest, because you never know what can happen! Brad's parents stayed a few more days, but headed back to Minnesota on Thursday before a storm that was heading our way. Dad flew out on Saturday. It was hard to see them go, but Brad needed rest to start his healing process. He went back to work on Monday feeling really good. He was weak and had low stamina, but overall, he was doing good!
Through the spring he was feeling okay, not 100%. During the months of June and July he started to get really tired and winded. It got to the point where he would walk up 15 steps and he would have to lay down for a half an hour. We knew something wasn't right. After consulting his Cardiologists, they found another problems with his heart. The heart wasn't communicating properly so when one side of the heart would pump, the other side wouldn't, causing his blood to not be pumped out of the heart properly. His infraction was only at 30% where a normal person is at about 70%. His doctors said that if they couldn't get that stabilized and it got in the 20% range, he would be a candidate for a heart transplant! After much pray, I had a complete peace from God that that would not happen. After an echocardiogram and other testing his doctors agreed that he would need to have another surgery. They would take out the current pacemaker and replace it with a bi-ventricular pacemaker with defibrillator. Brad's current pacemaker had two leads leading to the upper and lower chambers of the heart. What he needed was a third lead that would run to the side of the heart that wasn't doing its job to pump the blood out of the heart. Again, I was completely at peace with everything, knowing full well that Brad was going to be good, better than before! So, on August 13, Brad was set to have another procedure in the Catheterization lab to remove the old and put in the new. His parents came out to be with us as well as my dad. My dad stayed with the kids again and Doug, Betty, and I were at the hospital with Brad. This procedure would be a little more complicated than the first. They also had to put Brad's heart in an abnormal rhythm to make sure the the pacer/defibrillator would shock his heart if it did go in an abnormal rhythm. That was a little scary thinking about that! There was a 4% chance that his heart wouldn't come out of that rhythm! After 2 1/2 hours, Brad was great! Dr. Sundaram said that things couldn't have gone any better. They got that third lead in a great position and his heart should get stronger and Brad should feel so much better. Going into the surgery Dr. Sundaram said that there was a 1/3 chance that Brad would feel 100% better after the surgery; a third chance that he would feel a little better (instead of climbing only one flight of stairs and getting winded, he could go up 2-3 flights before that happenend); or a third chance that he would feel the same and when he went into surgery. With the grace of God, Brad came out feeling 100% better! After he got up to his room in the cardiac unit, he was talking and laughing and back to his old self! He was giving his nurse a hard time and just feeling amazing! Thank you, Jesus! Again, our parents left, and Brad went back to work and things were going really great! This went on for a few months before our next test of faith would begin!
By the middle of August we decided that we needed to get out of the Larkspur house because were were paying $2500/month to live there plus we were paying our mortgage on the Maricopa house. Money was getting tight paying on those, plus regular bills, and now medical bills. Not to mention that if something were to go wrong with Brad's heart, we were at least 1/2 hour a way from a hospital and 20 minutes from an urgent care. We were able to get out of our lease in Larkspur and in September, moved into Castle Rock. It was such a blessing to be close to the boys school, Peighton and I's preschool, and closer to Denver for Brad's work. Things at work were pretty stressful for Brad. Aaron would be going off like a time bomb one minute and then be all fine the next. Aaron's dad during this whole process, wasn't supportive and thought Brad was completely overpaid. There was empty promise given after empty promise. Overall, the business was doing okay. They had sold and produced almost a million in sales. Apparently that wasn't good enough for the Avery's. On October 2, Brad went to work and all hell pretty much broke loose! Needless to say, without going into all those details, Brad came home without his job, company vehicle, and salary! How could this happen? Seriously, after two heart surgeries, having to short sale our house in Maricopa, uprooting our family from their home, friends, church, etc. to have the plug pulled! We were mortified! At least we knew that Brad would have no problem finding another job, he had never been unemployed before, and he was a go getter with so much to offer, that finding a job would be a walk in the park! WOW! Were we set in out place shortly after putting out trust in that thought!
It is going on week 7 of unemployment for Brad! He has sent out so many resumes, at least 10 a day for the past 7 WEEKS! No quality hits, unless you are an insurance company...NO THANK YOU! It has been a tough year for our family! It has been a complete lesson of faith and trust in the Lord! We have learned so many life lessons from the course of the year. The first and foremost lesson learned is to have complete faith and trust in God to provide, lead, and guide us in His plan and purpose for our lives, not our own! Financially things are seriously tough! We had to let our families know that we are unable to come home for Christmas, which was such a downer for our whole family, kids especially. Through God's grace and mercy, we are doing good! We have so much to be thankful for...Brad's health, each other, food for the table, our humbled hearts, etc. Through these extremely tough times, we look to God as our Provider, Savior, and Best Friend! We lean on His Word, Prayer, Serving, and Church! He has a plan for this family, and we anticipate how He will use each of us for His glory and Honor! Stay tuned as the saga of this life will continue, God will prevail!
Lord God,
I thank you for the events of this year, because I know that you have a plan for our lives! I thank you for Brad's health, our family unit, the provisions you provide. We lay it all at your feet, Oh God. We know that you will provide the perfect job for Brad, it is all in your timing. We walk by faith in you and will obey your calling on our lives. We anticipate what you have for us! Until that time, we put our complete faith and trust in you!
In Your Precious Name,
Amen
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Miss Independant
Is it a girl thing this whole "independant/I can do it myself" busniess? I am so not used to having a little girl who is all about doing it herself. Today she was getting herself dressed. She was having a little trouble with her shirt, so I reached over and just held the sleeve so she could get her arm in. She ripped the whole shirt off because I was helping, turned it inside out and refused to let me help her with it. To my surprise, she actually ended up putting it on without a hitch and the right way! She is all about doing things herself and on her terms! Are Brad and I in trouble or what? She is like this with everything from getting a drink in the kitchen (having to get it herself and pick it out) to dressing herself to buckling herself into her car seat.
The boys were never like this! In fact, I still have to do Preston's (15) hair every day! Pretty soon Peighton will be doing that too! This might not be such a bad thing now that I think about it! She will be cooking and cleaning before I know it!
My Miss Independant, I love you to pieces, even though it is on your terms...lol!
The boys were never like this! In fact, I still have to do Preston's (15) hair every day! Pretty soon Peighton will be doing that too! This might not be such a bad thing now that I think about it! She will be cooking and cleaning before I know it!
My Miss Independant, I love you to pieces, even though it is on your terms...lol!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The gift of love from Solomon
Our family woke up this morning, an ordinary Thursday morning, to a lovely love offering brought to us by Solomon our tabby cat. To our surprise, Solomon caught a bird and brought it to us all over the house. I have never seen so many feathers all at once and throughout our house! I am thankful however that there are no evident "body" pieces anywhere! Solomon was courteous to his family in that respect! Thank you, Solomon for the gift of love that you showed to your family this morning!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The family that runs together stays together
Our family started doing a family run on Sunday night! We go out after dinner, taking Peighton in the stroller. Brad and Preston take Peighton running with them for the first mile and then I take her for the 2nd mile. Brad and Preston run 2 miles and Paxton and I are running for the first 3/4 mile and then walk briskly the other 1 1/4 miles. My legs are so sore, my lungs just burn, but I do feel good and our family is really bonding by doing this together!
This whole thing started because Preston is going out for wrestling and we want to make sure that he is conditioned for the season and doesn't peter out on the mat! We decided to make this training a family affair! We are commited as a family to walk/run every night after dinner to get the whole family in shape and enjoy the Colorado evenings! It might be a little challenging when there is feet of snow on the ground!
This whole thing started because Preston is going out for wrestling and we want to make sure that he is conditioned for the season and doesn't peter out on the mat! We decided to make this training a family affair! We are commited as a family to walk/run every night after dinner to get the whole family in shape and enjoy the Colorado evenings! It might be a little challenging when there is feet of snow on the ground!
Peighton's lunchbox
Peighton loves to go to preschool and has to hold her lunchbox when she goes to school! As she is holding her lunchbox, she sings "school today..school today". On her days off of school, she loves to carry her lunchbox or backpack around singing her little song. As you look inside at the contents in the lunchbox or backpack you will always find some interesting things like, macaroni and cheese, canned goods, packets of food, whatever she can find and fit from the pantry into her backpack or lunchbox. She is a hoot! She holds her lunchbox or puts her backpack on her back, puts her baby in the stroller and pushes her around the house, singing her song being as happy as can be! Peighton is always so happy and full of joy! She can turn your day from bad to good in an instant! How do you thank God enough for placing Peighton into our lives? My heart is so full of joy and love right now I feel like I could burst! I am holding back tears of thanksgiving to God for this precious blessing! Peighton Eunhye, you are so loved and cherished by your mommy!!!!
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